May 14, 2008

One Made of Straw, One Made of Sticks and One Made of Bank-Owned Bricks

When I was a teen, I worked my summers at everybody’s favorite place Disneyland on the infamously boring, but quintessential Storybookland. (You know, the one where you go through the whale’s mouth on boats). I wore a Scandinavian yodeling type of outfit–short skirt, knee-high socks, and sitting out in the sun all day long on these little boats, I had the wierdest tan lines anybody had ever seen; off the time clock, I found myself constantly on the receiving end of mocking questions like, ”Whatcha been doing, crawling around on the floor?” But it was an exciting job for a 16 year old, giving that same Storybook spiel, 48 times a day…

“Just around the bend and coming up on you’re left-hand side <smile>, you’ll see the homes of the three little pigs <smile>–one made of straw….one made of sticks…and one made of WOLF-proof bricks!” <smile>

Boy, have times changed…

“Just around the bend and coming up on your left-hand side, you’ll see the former home of a mid-level WAMU manager. <frown> This middle-aged product manager had a wife, two kids <frown>, and a zero-down, jumbo, sub-prime, adjustable rate mortgage.” <frown>

Think I’m making this up? NOT! Step back, folks and make way for the Foreclosure Bus Tours! Now I’m not taking this dialogue from the actual script, it’s conjecture on my part, but I just have to imagine that it can’t be too far off. I mean, what else could they say on the tour?! Taken from the website:

ForeclosureBusTours.com guides you to the “Pick Of The Litter” of Foreclosed Homes in cities around the country. This is an all-day Foreclosure Training and Deal Finding Event where we see 5 to 7 “Hand-Picked” foreclosed homes that are perfect to move into with built-in equity or deeply discounted for an investment property. We don’t just show you the deals, we show you how to get them and what to do with them after you purchase. Not just a tour of homes. We include several specialists on the tour that have expertise in buying and selling foreclosures, renovating homes, short sales, financing deals and much more. Licensed realtors, loan officers, contractors, and inspectors are just a few of the specialists that we have on our tour to help give you all the insight that you could ever want about buying a foreclosed home. You will learn the in’s and out’s of buying foreclosures and see some of the most incredible deals in town in a one-day foreclosure tour.

What do you think about foreclosure bus tours? Is turning the misfortunes of another into a public spectacle up there with the Faces of Death, or is it simply lemonade from “Hand-Picked” lemons?